Tuesday, August 26, 2008

One of My Last Firsts

Do you see that boy up there? That is my baby.

Do you see that gap in his teeth? Those are his first lost teeth.

Why does that make me so sad?

I'll tell you why, because he is my baby and this is the last time I will have a child lose their first tooth. It's the last time I'll watch a child ride their bike for the first time, or go to school for the first time, or ride the bus for the first time.

Each of my baby's firsts have been lasts for me and while that in no way dimmed my joy over his first steps or first words, it has been bittersweet for me. Knowing that I'll never experience those firsts ever again has made me a little sad. I am content with my family and the decisions we have made regarding the size of it. I definitely don't want to be pregnant again! But still, my oldest leaves for college in two years with her sister just two years behind that. And my baby is starting 1st grade this year.

But time marches on. The only constant in life is change, right? I'm thrilled with how grown-up, mature, smart, friendly, kind and good my kids are becoming. But what about all those firsts?

There's always grandkids.



Nancy said...

This year as I dropped our 10th grade daughter off at the first day of school she said to me just as she was getting out of the car, "You can be sad if you want because in 3 years you'll be dropping me off at a dorm." That changed my perspective that day. Where do the years go?

Nancy M. said...

I understand. I just weaned my little one and I am very sad over it. It's probably especially because they are our last babies.